At this point - about 25 deaths on my belt - it was clear that I was a dumb smug fuck and that You Don't Choose Tourist As Your First Build.
It was time for having SOMETHING to show for.
This character was the Muscle himself... the Dwarven... Caveman.
Problem is... It's still hard to play, I took a character that starts with nothing but a CLUB pretty much... idiooot...
C9: Ahaha I'm a trained Troglodyte?? Ahaha canned Sechuan kobold, WHAT...?!
* AAA!! To my own suprise, I met my OWN GHOST in the FRIENDLY gnome mines (?! i guess gnomes are okay with dwarves, even naked wild ones)!!
* Gods be praised, I finished the poor soul of my previous character and gained immeasurable items/advantages (my previous build's items)... What a strong start...!
* Too bad that ahhah i got lost, without food... I was attacked by a BLACK UNICORN (what is wrong with this game?? why are such dangerous enemies so early in game??)...
* I deciced to read an unidentified scroll in my desperation re: approaching unicorn...
* ?! turns out it's scroll of GENOCIDE... it asked me to write a creature...?!
* AAAA apparently ALL black unicorns in the game vanished without a trace ahhaha!?! what a fucking game??
* aaa soon after sudendly I walk over sleep trap and 3 wolves ate me in my sleep. Death happens in a second in Nethack (because when you've out of it, you pass turns and enemies move)... Life is so fragile...
That's okay though, i Radically ran out of edible food.
C10: I rolled ridicilous Bodily stats, I was the Body itself... then... come again the gnome mines...
* ?!? A band of Uruk Hai suprise attack?? (reaaallly?? there are suprise events like this?!)
* I beat them up, no fucking LOTR shit even REGISTERS in my fuken raadar... im the fuken BODY-
*-oh so i walk into blindess trap and soon surrounded by invicible enemies.
They were dogs. I became DOUBLY ripped, the Grim Ripp'd himself... massive toned bones...
C11: Yet here comes Another Dreambody, a real sweal killear... I got really far in this game!
* I was attacked by a Cockatrice...
* I didn't know what that weirdo bird can do so I killed it & got weird messages...
* ... until *GULP* i- i turned into STONE??
* ALAS!! Sudendly, my amulet breaks and I returned... Phew!! Miracle!!!! I wish the game made you more PIOUS after surviving deaths etc, just another message at the end of the character as usual... YOU BECAME RELIGIOUS AFTER SURVIVING DEATH/EXPERIENCED NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE
* The end was miserable as usual: Somehow I ended up on hidden teleport trap that threw me into a room full of dangerous or midtough monsters (am i seeing a pattern here?). I managed to run away but I ran into a direction of KILLER BEES instead of taking my first chance at running the stairs down... "better permanent step to hell than dead" - ancient roguelike veteran secret, RIP
C?: I died with good stats on the beginner level giant bat. Hah hah, I guess we all really are IDIOTS down inside, ne?
C??: Killed by a Killer Bee. Ahahah just as I ran out of food, sudendly... (?!?) a Garter Snake jumps out of my packback and says "Mommy?".
C14: Whoa.
* I summoned a gigantic rain of boulders to block the way from Killer Bee onslaight...
* In my self-imposed hunger, mefuckinidiot ate an ZOMBIE DWARF (and i was a dwarf!!!!!!!!!)...
* I read and drank everything in my desperation... nice, potion of sickness...
* In Confusion & Sickness & Poisoned, I stagger around meaninglessly, unable to control my character while my health dropped inevitably...
* I stagger upon a trapdoor, I fell down X levels to my death ahhaha. If i recall right, I might even still took couple of steps down there.
Wow.
C15: Nice, nice! I even found a food shop!...
... too bad I died when out of blue, in a spot I thought I had walked over in Gnome Mines...
... I stepped onto a l- L-LANDMINE???
WHAT THE FUUUCKKK NEETHAAAACK???!?!?!?!!?
C16: Sigh. Blinded out of blue. In the same go/spot/turn, my surroundings was filled to brim with monsters for no reason. Mentally challenged game?
C17: !!! For the first time, I got really far...! I got into That Blue Dungeon - however, I was supposed to summon boulders but I instead summoned high-level'd Gargoyle (fuck you steel wand!!!), plus I also made one mistake and at the time didn't kill That One Weird Leprechaun That All Boulders HATE. I killed a Vault Guard in this game as well, I had no idea what was the consiquence. I can't remember if strange messages were generated.
C19: Ahahah easily the weirdest game so far!
* I went into a shop - I had eaten a Leprechaun body, I had let my dog to kill & eat friendly gnomes in Gnome Caves anyways (cannibal-bonzi...)
* Weirdly, way too easy monsters all the way through...
* Well, I teleported out of the shop out of blue.
* *SIREN VOICE* -IMMIDIATELY-, The whole level was FILLED to fucking BRIM by POLICE and GREY UNICORNS ahahhahahahha whaaaaaaat????? Uhhhh...
* I also failed to summon a hole beneath me for escape measures!! and the all-important pick axe is STILL in front of the shop!! Yikes!!
* My only option after long consideration: There's no turning back now, I can't return to levels prior this level anymore. "better permanent step" etc...
* Slaughter my way through the cops (constantly generating messages & throwing pies at my face (??)).I run downstairs with lots of pies & leaving a Scotland Bloody Yard after me...
* Aaaa there's a cockatrice in front of me and Marge isn't responding to phone (this is my second cockatrice so far & Marge agreed to give me hints when im in dire need). Somehow I avoided it...
* In the same level... ?! a TENGU is generated?? :^B (?! looks awesome & what did the creator smoke to create these wack-ass weird creatures? this guy is just ALL OVER PLACE all the time, is hella cool guy. would imagine ragnar/aphex twin making roguelikes)...
* I ate that Tengu's corpse, thus jumpin (teleportin) all over the place myself >:^B
* Ahaha nooooo Just when I was startin to doin swell again: I deciced to kill the cockatrice offspring just in case...
* I shot it with my bow as much as I could from the distance...
* Then i ran out of ammo and ran right next to it and SLAYED that Shit in One Turn yeah fucking SHIT WHOSE THE MAN *spit*.
-BUT...
BUT I WAS WEARING AN EYEBLIND.
Because I was wearing an eyeblind...
my character had to touch everything to tell where or what it is.
So I went over the corpse.
And to tell what item it is, i had to touch the corpse.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
C21: GROAN nothing's worse than fainting in a level with a black unicorn when you've eat a wood elf corpse (?! elf corpses makes you sleepy? is this written in lotr or what?). While i've fainted, an army of wood elves appear out of blue and stone me to death/rip me to shreds... only wet splatter remained o' me... again was goin' HELLA strong... life is fragile and death is sudden and quick in nethack...
C22:
Whoa, good stats?
Whoa, tons of rations in first level. Nice, looks prom-
?!? More rations?
... A long sword named DEMONBANE?
What the...? In the first level?
...
DON'T DIE BONZI GOD JUST -DON'T DIE-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[later on]
Oh. I see.
Fine.
I hate this fucking game. what a fucking joke of a game. fuck you nethack FUCK YOUUUUUUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
* I was "pillaging" a shop, I had an immaculate plan... proud with my sword Demonbane...
* Accidentally, I pressed wrong button and i put on a dagger...
* Well, it's cursed.
* I gotta get rid of this shit, I have to figure out something!
* So I had a genious idea, went to a nearby pool and dipped my dagger in there...
* I turned dagger to Very Rusty - my plan was to make it sooo rusty it'll break eventually in use! Snicker snicker.
* Well, I started to fight a measly Imp and I couldn't take it down.
* The imp was constantly generating messages in which it mocked me... while I dumbstruck observe as I'm INCAPABLE of inflicting damage with my dagger...
* I try to flee with low HP but then I got routed... by a... a kitten.
* I read and drank everything I could in desperation...
* Bottom-line: Owner of the artifact "Demonsbane". KILLED BY A KITTEN WHILE HELPLESS.
retrospect: it's apparently v rare that artifacts spawn in first level...
C23: ... So onward to new adventures again (aaa). Game starts promising haha, on second level "Your dog, Slasher, feels disoriented...Slasher staggers... Sudendly Slasher disapears out of a sight!" *rolleyes* Nethack... with my dog disapearing down the hole to god knows how many levels, I gotta make it on my own... Later on I found her but she soon got crushed under a boulder trap.
This game ended as I ate werejackal corpse in my hunger. God knows how many times I have to repeat the same idiot mistakes...
C24: Whoa two food shops?? S-spinach in a can?? Must have... WHOA ahhah my strenght jumped to ridicilous 18/10?? I'M MUSCLE EMBODIED!!- *groan* i ate something poisonous, now it's only 18/7...shit... You feel wide awake!! (??). *GROAN!!* Dilute sky potion was actually poisonous, whaaat but i was wearing amulet of poison resistance!! now down to 18/6 FUCK THIS SHIT!! Ahaha I met my own ghost again?? I killed him accidentally inside a wall, shit... what a fucking weird game, again...
Eventually I would get reaaaally strong again, with cloak on invicibility, loads of food (if you haven't already figured out, they are hard to come by in this game!!), nicely keeping a dangerous enemy inside this one hut in this cave so take a load of this pro!! Great stats, items Ascension-level and...
and 'cos i pressed the wrong button accidently...
I died by overeating a yeti.
Yesssssssssss nethaaaaaack
C25: NICE, boots of speed right at the beginning of the game! A shop at second level! TOO BAD a soldier ant inflicted me a poison... i'm on my last leg, my god is angry at me as in my desperation I slaughtered my own dog Slasher for food (none gained)... no food, I can't access shops as the goddamn fucking dwarven pickaxe is welded to my hand (cursed) and Marge isn't responding...
...
...
And somehow, SOMEHOW against all expectations, I survived and this game lasted 4 or 5 hours whoa. I almost passed That Blue Dungeon... I even died once but amulet of life saving saved my ass... I even killed 2 cockatrices and 3 offsprings!! Wow!! I'm growing up!
I finally died again in (again) most bizarre way:
* I was rushing down the hallway, pressing Up - keyboard and not really expecting any enemy to come my way (at least nothing that would die by few blows.)
* As I enter the room a new room, I see some monster flash momentarily but I moved too fast to see what it was...
* The screen started flashing in colours rapidly, changing screen 10 times a second, like some kind of disco from hell!!!!
* This graphical ultaviolence/superstimuli lasted for some 3 seconds or so (ahhaha what the fuck is going on?!?)...
* When the screen stops glitching, my character is dead... ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
It took me some time to recover from this and grasp/theorize what had happened just now (the message log was COMPLETELY flooded with messages so it was not a straight-forward deduction):
* Apparently, what happened was that I had attacked an floating eye by accident in melee (cos i kept pressing Up and also pressing to the direction of enemy while facing them is also attacking in roguelikes).
* Hitting it killed it (so I didn't understand initially what caused this) but also paralyzed me for a long time...
* In the meanwhile, a Vortex/Fog attacked me, thus enveloping me inside it.
* This is a rare situation - I was paralyzed so I could not break away from Vortex, so I was pr much DOOMED to suffocation, haha. I helpessly lay on the ground as my lungs are filling with sand/dense fog...
* Except that I was wearing amulet of artificial breathing!! So the vortex was unable to kill me by suffocating!!
* So I kept LEAVING and ENTERING the vortex RAPIDLY as the vortex again and again tries to suffocate me (thus the rapid switch of screens).
* However, meanwhile a werewolf had entered the room and started rippin' me to shreds whenever I had got out of vortex ahaha.
* Since I was entering the vortex constantly, it tooks some time for the wolfie to work it's way to my bone (vortex insulated me from dungeon), thus the long-ass disco times, haha.
* Bottom-line: Maaaad rezpectz 2 flo-tin' (EYE-SYMBOL)
C29: Ahah okay i'm just... too weary from dying to even properly explain.
I was going strong from the get-go (eg. crytal platemail and plate mails laying on the ground right at the first levels), greats stats, food, my trusty Club improved to +4...
again I pressed my luck by wearing unidentified dwarven pick-axe to clear That Blue Dungeon. The cursed weapon stopped me from finishing it, too underpowered... Well, of COURSE I would get stuck as I on top of this get teleport intrisic without teleport control as well.
Eventually in my desperation I deciced to turn Neutral alignment (?! probably to get a new deity and pray for help for either problem).
I prayed in the dwarven town's temple's altar...
Well. Yeah.
The altar turned from lawful alignment to neutral alignment.
And the neutral deity priest present in the temple got SUPER FUCKING ANGRY for that
and killed me in literally two turns.
SELFNOT DONT EAT HOMONCULI IMPS LEPRECHAUN NYMPHS UNLESS YOU -LOVE- THIS ONE TELEPORTING IDIOT WHO ALL SERIOUS PLAYER -HATE- PASSIONATELY also dont eat bugs you fucking idiot.
C30: Yeah fucking hell what a game. No food and just as I was going to going to get a plate mail that was laying nicely on the dungeon floor, then of COURSE I would step on a trapdoor and get thrown X levels into the dangerous abyss ffs!! it's like some sunday's cartoon situation...
C33: Sigh. Before my death, i ate couple cans of spinach and I had boss stats... then I would fall into a pit trap and non-chalantly, game tells me that I fell into poisonous spikes and died of poison...
(really?? seriously???? aasdfsadf usually at least you would just get Poisoned - status and you could go on!)