That's an interesting perspective, I'd like to try an assortment of drugs someday to gain another perspective on things. In my little bubble I've not touched anything aside from some alcohol. Perhaps the closest I've gotten is exploring the internet and absorbing a wide range of funky content, some of which I'm sure was produced with the help of drugs, but still I don't feel like I've had a deep enough connection. It pisses me off how it's still mostly illegal and that the US is only barely navigating legalization of weed at a state level in a really clumsy manner. It's not necessarily the illegality that's stopping me, but I have enough to occupy myself with to bother seeking it out and haven't had the opportunity simply presented to me. Maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong kinds of people.
I think I understand what you mean by thoughts forming as fractals, rudy. It's like moving to another dimension, connecting in ways you just couldn't in a mere three. I've felt that in deep conversations with others as well as getting lost in thought myself when I feel like I've had an epiphany. That, too, fades and I wonder why I thought I've had everything all figured out. Perhaps it all amounts to intellectual masturbation, but at least when it comes as a product of conversation, the bond shared between the other is strengthened.
I've often heard of people not wanting to bring children into such a horrible world, but part of me wonders if it's just an excuse. That's not to say that having children is some amazing accomplishment that all should strive for. In fact, I'm emphasizing that there is no need to have an excuse to *not* have children. Too often I find myself making excuses for not wanting to do things, when really an "I don't wanna" would be perfectly acceptable. Then again, perhaps "I don't wanna" is an excuse itself, a pathetic attempt at covering for my own inadequacies. The fact remains that I don't want to have children and it's not because the world is shit, but because I'd rather fuck around and drift through life. On some level it's a lack of desire to have control over another life. It's the reason why I wouldn't want a pet either. I like the idea of being left alone and leaving others alone, but it can also be a paradoxical, contrarian, or even hypocritical position to take at times.
I assume we'll pull through the disasters ahead, even if most of the world's human population is wiped out and it's a living hell (even more so than now). Humans are so damned tenacious and persistent, we'll rebuild. Civilization as we know it has been shit for a long time, what scares me is that the tools to enforce the shittiness are only getting better. I don't fear AI having a sudden awakening and subjugating humans, I fear humans getting better at applying AI to subjugate humans. Nuclear weapons haven't been around long enough to definitively conclude that they'll never be used in a full-scale war. Hell, there were a couple of close calls during the cold war. The cold war was really uneven, too. China has a much better grasp at playing the game. The game of waiting and the game of economics. Not only that, but Russia is a nuclear ally of them, so it's not a matter of just two major nuclear powers opposing each other with a few minor ones sprinkled about. I don't consider it unlikely that a fuck-up could cause a chain reaction, even if world leaders think they're smart enough to know all the costs involved.