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so you want to know why i want to live in a toilet...


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#1 jamie

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 11:46 AM

look. i live in a toilet. okay? if you've got a problem with that, then, well, that's your right. I've got a little bombshell to drop on you though. Living in a toilet? I love it. Why should I deny it? So I thought I'd educated some of you folks out there who have some misconceptions on what living here in 'the big bowl' is like.

MYTH #1:

toiletpeople people love foreigners.


Sorry, guys, this isn't the case. I see alot of westerners coming to the toilet looking to pick up a girl and get a kiss but guess what? the odds aren't any more in your favour than at home. so. yeah. guess you pervs are pretty disapointed. let's just mark that one as: false.

MYTH #2:

Everyone who lives in a toilet loves to watch scooby doo.


false. strike two. In my experience the ratio of people here in the big bowl who love scooby do is about 1 in 24, which is barely any more than the worldwide average so don't come over here if that's what you are expecting because toiletpeople HATE it when foreigners barge in assuming that everyone knows what scooby doo is. even the people who do watch it often aren't die hard fans. i've met who claim to love scooby doo, but have never heard of scrappy doo. that's pretty much just like shitting over the scooby doo legacy as far as i'm concerned so

MYTH #3:

why do people on subways always change carriages whenever i get on? i still can't figure this out. i asked a guy and he said it was because everyone was trying to be polite and give me as much room as they could because I look like a foreigner. I'm pretty sure I overheard someone mumble 'ribbly-skib dibble wrangus' as they were getting off one day though. i'm not exactly fluet in toilet talk yet but rough translation of that is 'dirty foreign. ill have a puke. what a smell'. and um...okay maybe you want to deal with your OWN hygiene before you start juding other people thanks





and another thing why is it legal for police to pick me up on the street when i'm not doing anything wrong? look. i know i don't look exactly vanilla but since when is that a crime. i like to wear a full face mask of a slug. that's my right. there's no reason i should be stopped and physically searched DESPITE my making sure to let them know i do NOT consent to a search of my bag because i have live creatures in there and it isn't safe to put your hand in there without a warning so look i love living in a toilet and you are more than welcome to come here there are over 300 foreign citizens recorded into the country each decade (officially......*sigh* : | ) which they should get a handle on because it's bullshit anyway if you don't like toilets then that's fine but keep it out of this topic i'm not interested opinions are like headlice pal, everyone's got some, so don'rt act like yousr spexciali'll not toielra\ete anyhaste ins;ap'rwtnoqwan. mgoia\i






#2 dada

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 12:18 PM

I'm sorry and I have nothing against toilet people but the fact is you people have  too much sex. it has been estimated that in only 10 short years 129% of the western population will be toilet people, or "toilettes" as we like to call them. this is unacceptable. it's not that I don't like toilettes it's just that I'd rather kick them in the face than watch them flush in public. that stuff just ain't us. it ain't us, man.


#3 kayo Hairbinger

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 06:14 PM

I dont know if you are joking or not

#4 the bloddy ghost

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 06:29 PM

I used to have a well paying job at the Viagara Factory. That is, until the Viagara execs realized that the Toilet people will take the crappier jobs with less pay. They fired all of my coworkers and replaced them with those... toilet heads. My pops worked in that factory. I was hoping I would have something to pass on to my son. It just seems like my life is being flushed down the drain ever since those toilet folks came around.
has a girl in his bed. pot in his pipe and family guy on the tube. i like life

#5 DDay

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 07:11 PM

I would like to say I live in a crap shack fuck toilet people they don't got shit on me....Or do they. Dun Dun Dunnnnn.

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#6 everyclear

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Posted 10 June 2010 - 08:41 PM

since when was it legal for toilet people to watch television?

#7 Pasty

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 02:26 AM

It just seems like my life is being flushed down the drain ever since those toilet folks came around.


i guess you could call this viagara falls

#8 dicko

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 02:58 AM

here's... my story.

i was in love with a girl from the toilet for over four years. but our parents hated it. you could say it was a modern day "Romeo and Toiliet" if you like. i personally don't. it's still too hard for me. my parents just couldn't accept that she was from the Toilet. they hated her "potty mouth" (thats western trash talk, sort of like Mudblood) and they hated everything she flushed for. sometimes i would leave her with my parents when i went to dump. when i came back she would have scratches all over. and i never knew what was happening. she assured me nothing had gone on and uttered "skrib dibble-bibble koala" under her breath. i learned later this is a Toilet prayer meaning "forgive my dirty teeth talk i have no toothbrush". it's a metaphor asking for forgiveness.

her parents hated me too. they hated the western world for everything it had done to them. and rightly so. have you ever thought about what happens to a goldfish when you flush it? yep. it ends up in the toilet. it stinks of fish. real fishy smell. dead fish everywhere. i would frequently get dollars and LCD flatscreens thrown at me if i was caught anywhere near the toilet. i'd shout "Velma would be ashamed!" as i ran away. i've still got the scars on my kneecaps.

but our love was STRONG. and we ran away together. far away from the skubs, the bripples, the McDonalds. away from it all. and we were happy. we were broke for a while. since she was from the Toilet, she could only apply for menial jobs such as scrote scrubbing and live bait but we scraped by. heck, we even took a holiday on the Vengabus. but her parents eventually caught up to us, and dragged her back to the toilet. i tried to get her back but the Stench was too strong.

and then it happened. she managed to escape. she crawled out the sides of the bowl. and she ran. but she didn't get far. she was picked up by monica geller and was married off to her 14 sons. and i haven't heard from her since.

so let this be a message to you western cock jobbles. if you see a toilet or toilette in the street, give them a sock. throw them a bone. teach them how to pitch. don't look down on them because they've got dirty face. they're people too, just like you or me.

i miss you... Edna Skribapple...

#9 Terrorantula

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 03:02 AM

WTF?!
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#10 rudy the red-beaked reindeer

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 03:30 AM

i've lived on the brim of the bowl so to speak, for 2 3 or years. i only date women out of the toilet. people always ask me, do you pluck them from the chute because their easy or you feel bad. i honetly reply no i just like their dumps, I'm a Regular toilet Casanova, by the way down there they call me the scribbing bibbles, hit me up.. anyway i dont want to talk to you uless your not a toilit girl.

#11 Hundley

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:07 AM

i don't have a problem with toilet people ok, but i ABSOLUTELY DO NOT tolerate them coming into my country illegally. the word AMERICAN used to mean something, but now that the word includes uneducated, unambitious toilet-heads, it  has about zero value. yeah ok, i get that we have the best toilets in the world, but that doesn't mean that they're free for everybody. IF YOU ALL WEREN'T SO LAZY YOU'D GO BACK HOME AND MAKE YOUR OWN BEST IN THE WORLD TOILETS RATHER THAN LEECHING OFF OF GOOD AMERICAN TOILETS

YOU'VE GOT TOILETS IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY, LEAVE MINE ALONE!!!!!

i've lived on the brim of the bowl so to speak, for 2 3 or years. i only date women out of the toilet. people always ask me, do you pluck them from the chute because their easy or you feel bad. i honetly reply no i just like their dumps, I'm a Regular toilet Casanova, by the way down there they call me the scribbing bibbles, hit me up.. anyway i dont want to talk to you uless your not a toilit girl.

i don't know you anymore. white pride used to mean something to you, but it looks like that's gone down the shitter. you make me fucking sick.

here's... my story.

i was in love with a girl from the toilet for over four years. but our parents hated it. you could say it was a modern day "Romeo and Toiliet" if you like. i personally don't. it's still too hard for me. my parents just couldn't accept that she was from the Toilet. they hated her "potty mouth" (thats western trash talk, sort of like Mudblood) and they hated everything she flushed for. sometimes i would leave her with my parents when i went to dump. when i came back she would have scratches all over. and i never knew what was happening. she assured me nothing had gone on and uttered "skrib dibble-bibble koala" under her breath. i learned later this is a Toilet prayer meaning "forgive my dirty teeth talk i have no toothbrush". it's a metaphor asking for forgiveness.

her parents hated me too. they hated the western world for everything it had done to them. and rightly so. have you ever thought about what happens to a goldfish when you flush it? yep. it ends up in the toilet. it stinks of fish. real fishy smell. dead fish everywhere. i would frequently get dollars and LCD flatscreens thrown at me if i was caught anywhere near the toilet. i'd shout "Velma would be ashamed!" as i ran away. i've still got the scars on my kneecaps.

but our love was STRONG. and we ran away together. far away from the skubs, the bripples, the McDonalds. away from it all. and we were happy. we were broke for a while. since she was from the Toilet, she could only apply for menial jobs such as scrote scrubbing and live bait but we scraped by. heck, we even took a holiday on the Vengabus. but her parents eventually caught up to us, and dragged her back to the toilet. i tried to get her back but the Stench was too strong.

and then it happened. she managed to escape. she crawled out the sides of the bowl. and she ran. but she didn't get far. she was picked up by monica geller and was married off to her 14 sons. and i haven't heard from her since.

so let this be a message to you western cock jobbles. if you see a toilet or toilette in the street, give them a sock. throw them a bone. teach them how to pitch. don't look down on them because they've got dirty face. they're people too, just like you or me.

i miss you... Edna Skribapple...

great story. enjoy tuberculosis in hell with all you godless toilet friends

#12 Hundley

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:08 AM

again, not that i have anything against toilet people, i just dont like them

#13 King of Spooks

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:16 AM

some of my best friends are toliettes....does this make me disgusting person?

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#14 benos

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:44 AM

Wow you sound pissed :smug:

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#15 Hundley

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:44 AM

some of my best friends are toliettes....does this make me disgusting person?

no, there's nothing wrong with being friends with toilets at all!!

i just hope you weren't planning on getting into heaven with that attitude.

#16 King of Spooks

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Posted 11 June 2010 - 08:22 AM

:sweat:
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#17 rudy the red-beaked reindeer

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Posted 12 June 2010 - 07:41 PM

i don't know you anymore. white pride used to mean something to you, but it looks like that's gone down the shitter. you make me fucking sick.

ugh i said NOT or out IN the toilet..just because i date the fudge babes does't mean i deal with illegals. anyway who said anything about that, maybe i just flush them when i got what i want..then again maybe i dont, thats a luxury i have living here. let's see you fucking try this anywhere else!

#18 ase

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Posted 12 June 2010 - 10:09 PM

help i;m in love with a wonderful toilettegirl but my parents hate her and are threatening to stop paying some of my college tuition WHAT TO DO?!??!?

#19 General Robert E. Lee

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Posted 12 June 2010 - 10:17 PM

Don't flush your education away for young lust, ase.
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#20 jamie

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Posted 14 June 2010 - 02:12 PM

got a video here i made that's just about well it's just about you know day to day life in a toilet thats. well, this kind of crazy stuff happens everyday here in a toilet. you don't want to have anything to do with us? that's fine, but this is what you're missing. i'm talking everyday.




just a slice out of the loaf of life in a toilet.







'This is OUR land'



- My quote about living in a toilet.






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